Where's the Stuffing?

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution - Desperate times call for desperate measures, so Braves right fielder Jeff Francoeur said he’ll wear the same underwear to Turner Field Tuesday that he wore on Sunday. He claimed the Braves are 7-0 when he wears his Thanksgiving-themed “turkey underwear” to the ballpark.

He wore them again Sunday for a home-series finale against the Red Sox, after the Braves lost the first two in the series. With rookie Tommy Hanson (flu symptoms) questionable entering Sunday’s game, and Yunel Escobar and Nate McLouth out of the lineup, Francoeur pulled out the stops.

“I wore the turkey underwear,” he announced before Sunday’s game. Hanson then proceded to pitch six scoreless innings Sunday and the Braves beat the Red Sox, 2-1.


OK. I get it. Baseball players, more than any other professional athletes, are superstitious. Wade Boggs ate chicken, Jason Giambi had the golden thong, and Barry Bonds had his HGH. However, the more and more I read about these superstitions, the more I am starting to get annoyed by them. Need an example? Fine. David Cone was announcing the Game 2 of the Yankees -Mets subway series at Taxpayers Field on Saturday. AJ Burnett was throwing an absolute gem. The 5th inning had come and gone with the Mets totally a massive ZERO hits. Inevitably the announcers started talking about a no-no and how the term "no-hitter" is not to be spoken like it was a message from God himself. Michael "Big Headed" Kay ask Coney what he though about the superstition since Cone had thrown a perfect game for the Yanks in 1999. And what was his reply? Cone noted that he would go into the clubhouse after each inning. The television broadcast was always on during the game in the clubhouse and Cone noted that every single time he entered he heard the words "perfect game." It didn't seem to jinx him. So what is it about the superstition?

I have a couple thoughts on this. First, if you are a ball player and have a superstition or routine you do the same way every day, and you have done it as long as you can remember, then I am OK with that. Its the repetitive nature that may make ball players feel more comfortable on the mound, at the plate, or in the field.

On the other hand, its just ridiculous. Listen, I am not saying that as a fan I have sat in the same chair, eaten the same foods, drank the same type of beer. What I am saying is that most players feel the need for superstitions because they are not mentally tough. Your in a slump and need a gold thing to break out? Toughen up. You are throwing goose eggs on the scoreboard and will freak out if you hear the word "no-no"? Toughen it up man! Don't get me wrong. We all have our lucky t-shirts, our lucky chairs, and our lucky lace underwear that fits so comfortably around my..uh...um...I mean lucky boxers. In reality it has no effect on a performance. It may make you comfortable, or dare I even say dead sexy, but being mentally tough is the best superstition to have.

Now where did I put my pinstriped garter?

Anna Has More Fight In Vegas Than On The Court

ANNA Kournikova got into a fight Saturday night in Las Vegas after an unidentified woman threw a drink at the tennis ace. Kournikova and her pals were partying at Lavo after attending the Hardbat Classic table tennis tournament when a woman at the next table "threw a drink at Anna. She felt Anna was invading her space," our source said. Kournikova "sprung into action" and starting screaming at the woman and shoving her. "It was a big fight," the spy said. The woman was kicked out only after leaving Kournikova with some vicious scratch marks on her neck.

I want to find out who this chick is that started a fight with Anna Kournikova and shake her hand. Yeah sure, I know the bitch is a psycho for freaking out that someone was "invading her space" while at a Vegas nightclub (hey crazy chick..your in Vegas, its gonna be fucking crowded!), but since she has the moxie to start a fight with Anna K, she is O.K. in my book. Not only has my fantasy of a hot mediocre tennis star getting into a cat fight in Vegas (is there any other place to get into a cat fight?) come to life, but the fact that Anna walked around with scratch marks on her neck as if she just finished having a wild bang session then just walked to a club to find some other balls to smack around is the icing on the cake. I have just one question: Where the FUCK are the pictures?!?!?! If any of the 5 loyal readers of this blog can send pictures of this fight or can locate them, well you won't get anything except recognition. But recognition feels ooh soo good.

I'm Sorry Miss Jackson

Michael Jackson father Joe Jackon BET Awards 2009 CNN Interview

Joe Jackson wished the "world recognized" the biggest superstar in the world. Um.....what?! Hey Joe, news flash, your son Michael was known as the King of Pop. But your right, he should have been recognized more while alive. I guess the record for most sold albums in"Thriller" wasn't clear enough. I guess the millions of idiots who broke down in tears every time they saw Michael Jackson walking down a street wasn't proof enough. I am just happy that Joe Jackson could pull himself together just enough to have his publicist read a statement he supposedly wrote. And even through pain of his son's unexpected death, he was still able to promote his record label. Joe Jackson everyone....Ike Turner would be proud. Classiness at its crazy sunglasses best.

The Real Cancun

So lets get this...er...straight: You are living right on the beach in Cancun with tons of hot bitches frolicking in the sand and water. The drinking age is, well, hell who knows. MTV pays for virtually everything. You have a sick pad at your disposal, yet you decide the funniest prank to pull would be to put on a wig and get spooned by another man? Crap I say! For one, its just not that funny, no matter how hard the producers told that annoying bitch to laugh. Two, its pretty gay if you ask me. Shouldn't this CJ character be off on the beach telling big titted bimbos, who want their 15 minutes of fame, to hop on the brain train and be instant stars?! Oh no, instead this dude is content on having a a man pole rubbing his back just for kicks.

Now the second part of this video is better than the first. Listen, first thing is first, this Joey character probably saved the hottie Indian looking broad from a major case of the runs (don't trust Mexican food, especially fast food in Cancun). Second, while I have no doubt that Pocahontas look -a-like would do some damage on that skinny-jean wearing Emo kid, she just didn't give the effort. If you are gonna talk shit, you have to back it up. Even if that means getting kicked off a show. She had the shit talking down, but where was the bite? She was right there!!! If you dont want to be kicked off the show for "physical abuse" just throw a fucking burrito at him. Rookies.

When Animals Attack

An American Airlines passenger jet headed towards LaGuardia Airport was forced to make an emergency landing after a collision with birds, the Federal Aviation Administration confirmed.

The FAA list of wildlife strikes, published on the Internet, details more than 89,000 incidents since 1990, including 28 cases since 2000 when a collision with a bird or other animal such as a deer on a runway was so severe that the aircraft was considered destroyed.

Here is my question: How hard is it to kill a bunch of fucking birds these days? Seriously!? If these birds are that stupid to fly into a giant airplane moving at high speeds, you would think a couple of Jersey trash hicks would be able to grab a couple 30 packs, sit in the back of their pick-ups and shoot the hell out of these flying menaces all day. And don't give me that animal rights crap either. Are pigeons and seagulls bordering on extinct? Do they not hatch like 10 eggs every 6 months? Don't tell me they have feeling or are smart either. Any animal who would eat a piece of bread with Alkaseltzer after watching his buddy explode is a fucking moron. But not as moronic as the people who protect them over human lives. I almost want to send those people on a plane and right after take off released thousands of birds in their direction. Lets see how much they loves these flying misfits after they shit their pants while plummeting towards earth.