"Playoffs? Don't talk about playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs?"

To all my loyal sheep (all 5 of you) – I apologize for the extended time off. You may be thinking, “What?! all you need is a computer to access this blog and post!” True. However, I was held against my will by a gang of Mexican midgets. And let me tell you, they are not up on their technology.

The good news is that while I was forced to hold the piñata at their fiestas and pass guacamole and chips, it gave me time to reflect on my next post. This entry will be all over the place to just read slowly.

The NFL Playoffs have begun and right from the get-go there have been great games and some controversial calls; A punter who acted as an MVP and changed the course of Oreo’s Marketing hopes; A Mangenious is kicked out of school; Birds soar; Fish drown; and re-matches are set.

Let’s get the business part of the NFL out of the way first. The former coach of the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS is fired. Most fans agree and it’s really a no-brainer. Most “experts” think he got a raw deal – sighting Ole Man Favre and his pick-6’s as a reason. But here is my take. You have 7 (6 if you don’t believe the Wrangler’s spokesperson should be there) on this team and you lose to the following teams: Oakland, San Fran, and Seattle. Winning jus ONE of those games probably puts you in the second season. But no, all three are lost (I won’t even mention the idiotic call in the Bills game by “Whatta” Dick Juron which basically would handed the game over to the Jets). I know, I know: they only won 4 games in ’07. But in ’06 they won 10! He is a terrible coach who, IMO, made no in-game adjustments. He had to go.

Ok on to the Offs - bullet style.

• The MVP of the Chargers/Colts match-up was the “Whales Vagina’s” punter. That’s right a PUNTER! How many times did he back up Peyton inside the 20 yard line?
  
• There has to be a change in the overtime session for the NFL. I am not saying it has to be college rules. But each team needs to get at least one possession.
  
• Experts are gushing over the Eagles right now. They go into Minny and beat a team coached by a Mr. Potato Head look-a-like and everyone seems to think they are “the hottest team in the playoffs” right now. Let me get this straight: They pick off a terrible QB for 6 points and have a long screen pass for another 6. A depleted Minny D-Line geo tons of pressure on Donovan “I don’t know the rules” McNabb. And people seem to think they dominated. Let’s put it this way: the Giants lose on a last second FG in Week 17 while playing mostly back-ups against a team that NEEDS to win at home to get into the play-offs and the Eagles win is supposed to be an accomplishment? Please.
  
• Was “Hanging” Chad Pennington wearing his old Jets t-shirt under his Dolphins jersey?
  The best defensive player in the game is Ed Reed. It’s not even close.
  
• Can someone tell the Arizona Cardinals that teams don’t shower their coaches with Gatorade after a first round win at home against a team you should beat?

Now on to the second round match-ups:

Saturday January 10th

TITANS (-3) vs. Ravens: If I were Kerry Collins I would send out a WR AND TE in Ed Reeds area, then still throw to the opposite side. Reeds is simply put a game changer. No defense is playing better right now that Baltimore. The Titans need to run, run, and run. And when they do pass it better be off of play action. I just don’t see the Titans wining this defensive struggle. To beat the Ravens you need to throw over the top, and with-out any real WR threats, Ed Reed will have a field day. I am taking the Ravens in an upset on the road.

PANTHERS (-10) vs. Cardinals: It’s never good when a team thinks that a first round win makes their season. 10 points is a lot, but I can see the Panthers at home winning by two touchdowns. Warner will get smacked around and the Cardinals’ D is won’t be able to stop the two headed running attack. Take the Panthers in a laugher.

Sunday January 11th

GIANTS (-4) vs. Eagles: Both regular season games were close contests. But the Giants lost the second one without Brandon “Earth” Jacobs. This will be a physical NFC east playoff match-up, as usual. The Eagles just get by last week against a QB who, IMO, should be a practice squad guy at best. Earth, Wind, and Fire should run all day at home (I still don’t know why AP hardly touched the ball last week in the 4th Q) and Eli should have protection to find favorable match-ups. Westbrook just hasn’t looked great in the past few weeks. Its one thing to get by the Vikings no real ground game, but if the Eagles don’t start chewing up some yards on the ground in what should be a cold day in NJ, they won’t have a chance. I will take the G-Men after a week of rest and being at home.

STEELERS (-6) vs. Chargers: The first time the Steelers and Chargers met the Chargers covered in a close loss (thanks a friggin’ lot NFL, you owe me 200 bucks!) With no LT, however, the fast Steeler D will be able to bottle up Sproles unlike the Colts. Big Ben had his bell rung in a meaning-less week 17 game (nice move Coach) but after a couple weeks to recover he should be back on point. The Chargers, now on the road in a cold weather environment, won’t be able to run the ball well, and when that happens against the Steelers’, it spells trouble for the QB with the blitzes and LB’s looking to take of Phillip “I am a glorified Jake Plummer” Rivers. The Chargers will keep it close but looks for Pittsburg to pull away in the 4th quarter. Find out if Ed Hochuli is reffing the game. If he is, then take the Chargers, if no, pick the Steelers to cover.

**Teams in caps are home**
**Spreads taken from the NY Post**